Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
