i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize