I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How does it feel to date your dad?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm always down for nudity.
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