It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
