He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
why is half of my head shaved?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
