so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
