so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
