I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
