Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
