What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize