I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
