Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
