i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize