I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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