I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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