So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
