my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
