um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
