Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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