i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need a beard to bite.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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