Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
