Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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