so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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