I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
