I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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