didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
