You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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