I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
