speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
