...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
