You're completely useless in the revolution.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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