Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
