I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
