Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
