i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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