1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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