Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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