i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
