i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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