the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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