so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
