I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
