there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
