it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
