why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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