I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
