Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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