He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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