My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
