In the future we'll all be gay
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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