i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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