And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
