Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
