two words: eviction party
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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