When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize