Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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