i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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