He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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