I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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