im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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