god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
